[There's a little pause, because he has to order his thoughts, but:]
It's difficult, sometimes, to distinguish what it is that Sanguis brings and what my own inclinations are. For example: I do enjoy sparring, especially when I am challenged. And it's rare I am challenged.
[That's not even braggy, he's just that good at fighting. You kind of have to be in order to be a bodyguard.]
Similarly, I find mages dangerous, and have a--
[Natural wariness, he was going to say, and that isn't wrong, but it's not the whole truth. He shakes his head, dismissing that thought.]
All my emotions are amplified. What is normally competitiveness deepened tonight to fury. It's a miracle neither of us injured the other more seriously; we fought as though we meant it. Or at least: I did. Because, when she revealed she was a mage, what might normally be surprise and wariness became terror.
[Which is mildly embarrassing to admit. Certainly not something he's proud of. Then again: it's rare he'll look Lorenz in the eye when they talk like this-- not out of shame, but adherence to years of training under Danarius-- so perhaps he won't notice.]
It doesn't amplify all my emotions. But the worst ones, perhaps. Even when it comes to you, I . . . my possessiveness of you increases exponentially. Not my-- my affection, but my need to keep you close, lest someone else come too near.
[And he hates that, he really does. He hasn't acted on it yet, but the fact he has the urge at all is stomach-churning.]
If you are near, it ought to be because it is what you wish. Not because I scared off others, or kept you in a cage to be mine.
no subject
It's difficult, sometimes, to distinguish what it is that Sanguis brings and what my own inclinations are. For example: I do enjoy sparring, especially when I am challenged. And it's rare I am challenged.
[That's not even braggy, he's just that good at fighting. You kind of have to be in order to be a bodyguard.]
Similarly, I find mages dangerous, and have a--
[Natural wariness, he was going to say, and that isn't wrong, but it's not the whole truth. He shakes his head, dismissing that thought.]
All my emotions are amplified. What is normally competitiveness deepened tonight to fury. It's a miracle neither of us injured the other more seriously; we fought as though we meant it. Or at least: I did. Because, when she revealed she was a mage, what might normally be surprise and wariness became terror.
[Which is mildly embarrassing to admit. Certainly not something he's proud of. Then again: it's rare he'll look Lorenz in the eye when they talk like this-- not out of shame, but adherence to years of training under Danarius-- so perhaps he won't notice.]
It doesn't amplify all my emotions. But the worst ones, perhaps. Even when it comes to you, I . . . my possessiveness of you increases exponentially. Not my-- my affection, but my need to keep you close, lest someone else come too near.
[And he hates that, he really does. He hasn't acted on it yet, but the fact he has the urge at all is stomach-churning.]
If you are near, it ought to be because it is what you wish. Not because I scared off others, or kept you in a cage to be mine.